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Silly things for silly reasons

Then something like this floats around.

And reading it, it really strikes a chord in me. I have problems when it comes to my art. Not the quality especially, but the circumstances under which I seem to draw them. I read a lot of stuff, books yeah when I find a good one, but fic - SO MUCH, and I get inspired by them which is half my problem. Most of the stuff I draw is inspired by other people and sometimes very directly related to a particular fic. The number of drawings and abandoned scraps and doodles I have, leftover from a rush of fic-inspired muses, is so huge - because yeah, I'm that person who doesn't comment or friend or even introduce myself because I'm always afraid people will think I'm too forward, so naturally, I don't give them the art either. Because at that point, when I first say hi, I probably have about 5 or 6 drawings done, inspired by their writing - and to just dump the art on that person and then disappear again... I don't know.

But now, it kinda all seems a bit silly. I haven't ever given art to a person who hasn't seemed genuinely happy about it, though I still worry about limits - do they think I'm weird? Over the past few months, thoughts like that have pretty much faded away, though they do spring up strongly from time to time (right before I hit the send button ohmygod).

Now, my biggest problem is that I have no idea where to post stuff anymore. I had a gap of about 2 years where I almost completely didn't interact on LJ after having been quite involved in some communities (not so much in my journal) and now I find that none of my interests then are my interests now, my art looks completely different - in a good way but still, and I'm back at square one. Getting into new communities, trying to talk to new people and it's a lot harder than I remember it being. 

So yes, taking the first step by saying I really don't give a shit about what people think (well, I still do, but I'm working on it) and begin to just spreading the love. I write shit, to speak plainly, but I'm working on that too and practicing. Until I'm ready for any fanfic, fanart is good too, no?


So keeping the continuing holiday spirit and akamine_chan's words in mind. I'm going to post one of those pieces of fanart that I've kept hidden because of silly reasons.

Done for sirona_gs and delicatale for their inspiring rants and fics regarding Clint/Phil, which - I really must say, I would never have thought about, ever, but now seem so intriguing.

Disclaimer: The Avengers do not belong to me, I'm not earning money from this.
Note: It's better to ask than to just take. I say yes to archiving 99% of the time, so please, be considerate of the effort I took to make this and don't just pass it off as your own. Also, fuck you Clint and that detailed leather number you're wearing, really.

Happy New Year guys!


( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 30th, 2011 12:54 pm (UTC)
Oh, my god, that is gorgeous! As an aside - I wouldn't think you're weird if you want to do art related to my fic. Actually, I'd feel honoured, and pleased, and blushy and vbfhvlfrbvhj heeee heeeeee! So about this, there is no reason to worry about it. And I think a lot, a lot of fic writers would feel just the same. The fact that what we write can be inspiring to you, to anyone, it's absolutely wonderful.

So, yeah. Please feel free to just go for it, any time you want to. This is just absolutely beautiful, and I am now going to go stare at it for a while longer.
Dec. 30th, 2011 01:05 pm (UTC)
It actually makes me feel better with someone telling me that it's not weird and a relief, too, so thank you! I've been kinda caught up in silly things that in hindsight seem really dumb.

On that note, I actually have a H50 piece that I drew for one of your fics looong ago, well, a few months ago. My problem is; I don't remember which fic that was... It was one with Steve swimming, and Danny waiting on the lanai... I think... Anyway, this snowflake challenge has kinda kicked my butt into just finishing stuff I've started and posting it, so some more stuff might be coming your way soon.

And glad you like the art <3
Dec. 30th, 2011 01:56 pm (UTC)




I love it. Seriously, I love it so fucking much. And I get how awkward it must feel to, idk, force yourself to interact with people, in new fandoms and stuff. It was part of why I hosted that Avengers Friending Meme in the first place. It's why I love the idea of the snowflake challenge. And I promise you that my LJ will always be a safe space for you, and for everyone who just wants to chat and squee, because I am a-okay with those things ALWAYS. This thing is fucking beautiful. And I have never, ever met a single writer who didn't go all kahdfjshjfghdjkf over someone doing art, or fanmix, or a podfic, or anything like that of their work, because that just means that someone liked it enough to be inspired by it, and that means everything.

I promise you that if you spam people with fanart of their stuff, the only thing you'll get back is flailing adoration (and the ones that mind are not worth listening to).

OH MY GOD, I CAN'T STOP STARING AT THIS. I CAN'T. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. Phil in particular is just KJHJKSHFGSFJGHDFJKG MAN OF MY HEART. *_______________* OH MY GODDDDDD. Seriously, I am BEYOND THRILLED about this, I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW MUCH, there's just this warm and fuzzy ball in my chest, and I know that delicatale feels the same.

Dec. 31st, 2011 03:30 am (UTC)
Wow, I did not expect such an enormously positive reaction, but all the better, it just proves that my silly insecurities and doubts were just that, silly.

Thank you so much for all those nice words and all that CAPSLOCK makes my heart do squishy things! I'm so glad that you like them,

Your writing is just ajkdhlfhdlfhlasdj and I love to read everything you have.

I'm constantly inspired by you guys and I think I may even have some sketches I've done for your previous works too (problem is I don't name them properly, so it might take some time to get sorted). But never be afraid to ask. If there's this one scene in a fic or you just feel like a little happy doodle of a character, I'm always willing. I may not be able to do it right away, but I'll get it done!

Dec. 30th, 2011 02:49 pm (UTC)
I don't know of a single writer who isn't pleased and overwhelmed when someone creates a work (art, podfic, etc) for something they've written.

I had a friend who podfics, and we argue about this constantly. As a writer, I think it's a great honor that someone wants to podfic my story; as a podficcer, she thinks it's a great honor to be allowed to podfic my story. We go in circles. *g*

Anyway, this art is awesome. Very, very awesome!

Edited at 2011-12-31 02:54 am (UTC)
Dec. 31st, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
That's what I'm just figuring out now <3

It's funny, because I feel exactly like your friend. I feel so happy when making fanart for others and when they get happy in turn for receiving it, it's just the best feeling (circles, as you said).

Thanks so much, and thanks for your comment! Will be joining everyone for the snowflake challenge!

Dec. 31st, 2011 11:45 am (UTC)
I got here via sirona_gs. I know nothing at all about The Avengers, but your drawing is stunning.

And I hear you about being inspired by fanfic. Sometimes I read a fic and I just have to draw a certain scene, but only rarely I finish the picture. And when that happens, I'm all awkward when I tell the author "So, um, hi, your story inspired me, I hope you don't mind?"

But I'm a writer too and I'm very happy when someone does the same for fics I've written, so I really shouldn't feel weird about it, but I still do. Oh, well. :)
Dec. 31st, 2011 03:24 pm (UTC)
Aww thank you, glad you like it!

I'm really trying hard to squash that feeling of inadequacy when I'm posting art to people, but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one ;__;

I don't write (uhh, yet), so sadly art doesn't really get dedicated to art that often, not that I wouldn't love it, which again, I can relate, if I don't mind, why should they?
Dec. 31st, 2011 04:23 pm (UTC)
This is really, really gorgeous! <3
Dec. 31st, 2011 04:27 pm (UTC)
Awww thanks! Glad you like it!
Dec. 31st, 2011 08:42 pm (UTC)
This is absolutely beautiful. I literally can't stop looking at it. Thank you so much for posting this; I'm so glad you decided to go ahead.
Jan. 1st, 2012 11:35 am (UTC)
Thank you so much, glad you like it!
Jan. 1st, 2012 04:09 am (UTC)
my gods, that is just stunning. (oops. is my Freudian slip showing? i almost typed studding!)

i think its absolutely not strange or weird or bizarre at all to become so inspired by someone's words (words! i write all the time and i never imagine words evoking something as... THIS!) that one must sit down and DRAW what they see out. i know, as an author, i would KILL to have someone take my vision and turn it into something as mind blowingly gorgeous as this. seriously.

i know i don't know you from Adam, or Eve, but i say fuck anyone who thinks its odd that you want to do this. don't post it for anyone but yourself. if this is an indication of what you're capable of, you have no need to worry that people will say anything bad about your art at all.

thank you so much for sharing this because... yeah. it would be a crime not to.
Jan. 1st, 2012 11:36 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the comment, it means a lot!
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 1st, 2012 12:25 pm (UTC)
Re: hawkeye and Agent C
Thank you!
Jan. 1st, 2012 08:03 am (UTC)
Jesus god this is incredible.
Jan. 1st, 2012 11:37 am (UTC)
Thank you!
Jan. 2nd, 2012 10:15 am (UTC)
gods - this is incredible! I keep coming back to stare at it ^_^ It really is amazing - thank you for sharing!
Jan. 2nd, 2012 12:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you like it <3
Jan. 8th, 2012 09:31 pm (UTC)
Here through sirona_gs' journal... wow that's gorgeous! I can see how much work you must have put in on Clint's costume, I'm loving all of the detail! And just. EVERYTHING.

I'll just add my voice to the chorus of others reassuring you... you're certainly not alone in feeling awkward or nervous or shy about approaching strangers, and worrying that your input might not be welcome (I am there ALL THE TIME). But as a writer, I can also tell you from experience that receiving fanart for a piece that one has written is absolutely the best feeling. It's only happened to me a couple of times, and both times I was so thrilled and flattered. We love to get comments, to know that what we've written connected with a reader in some emotionally significant way, and to know that our words have inspired someone to create art themselves... it really is just the highest compliment. I think every writer would agree.

...Besides, your art is gorgeous. Trust me, any recipient would feel doubly thrilled.


Edited at 2012-01-08 09:32 pm (UTC)
Jan. 9th, 2012 03:32 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for all the nice words! They make my heart do squishy happy things. It's nice to know I'm not the only one and I'm really trying to get out of this cocoon existence through art (acceptable y/y?).

So many nice things, thank you so much!
May. 21st, 2012 09:15 pm (UTC)
My god, this is fabulous! I wish I could write something Avenger-y and good enough to get some art. I know that I'd grin for MONTHS just to be asked.

Beautiful. MOAR!
May. 22nd, 2012 10:35 pm (UTC)
:D I'm glad you like it!
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )